Feeling Exposed

Updated: Oct 17, 2021

Well now I've gone and done it! I've uploaded the first 2 of 3 sections of Episode 5 of our OBI podcast, and the focus this time is me! My story is guided by the adage "What You Don't Know Won't Hurt You." Of course this is painfully ironic, as unrecognized adoption trauma nearly killed me! And I talk about it. In public. On the show!...I'm feeling terribly exposed.

This happens every time I speak publicly about abandonment trauma, addiction, racism, mental illness, recovery, identity dislocation, reunion - you name it - and I talk about these things quite frequently these days. It has gotten emotionally easier though, and I've found better ways to express certain thoughts over time. I'm not sure how much longer I'll continue to share my story, but it feels like the right time to share it now. And, I think Jack does a great job of asking the right questions at the right times. He has a knack for leading a story through inquiry.

The third and final installment of Episode 5 will introduce you to my very dear old friend Blue, who will provide his perspective on my journey from his non-adopted, well-informed and long-term perspective. Jack liked the idea of bringing in an informed loved one so much that we're tracking down a friend or two from Jack's past to chat with and append to what's already on his OBI spotlight. Stay tuned for that!

We've also begun working on Season 2, in which Jack and I will kick off a book chat with the classic by Betty Jean Lifton, Journey of the Adopted Self. We'll read and discuss the book, chapter by chapter, and hope listeners will join us by reading along and calling in to the show! At least, that's the plan for now, but don't be too surprised if the wind blows in another direction and we follow it.

You may notice some minor changes on my author website. Most notably, I have now committed to a new title for my memoir. As much as I love "Duermete," it didn't "test well" because it confused people and so, I am changing the working title to.....(drum roll....)........

Vital Signs: Things We Know by Heart


I hope you like it!

This new working title is intended to call on elements of the very adage guiding the multi-part interview about my story on OBI, "What You Don't Know Won't Hurt You." I didn't know that I was profoundly grieving for the birth mother who abandoned me nor did I understand during critical developmental stages that the continuing significance of race was still being cleverly obscured from my view. What kept me going was an unrelenting will to live and to find authenticity. Hopefully, there are some elements of my story that can help somebody else navigate through similarly difficult circumstances.

Well, that's all for now. I hope you get a chance to listen to the podcast and please leave your comments for the show! The private feedback we are receiving is driving us, but the show really benefits from more public endorsements.

Take Good Care,


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